Sunday, October 15, 2006

An Unwanted Journey: Day 0327 - Flashbacks


It's Sunday morning. Everyone in the family is taking the opportunity to sleep in...except me. I have been working on a presentation for work for tomorrow morning.

This is progress! Working on the weekends is not something I would normally do, but my place of employment has been very generous with me during my illness and it only makes sense to pay back when I can. Not only that, but being able to do so is itself an indicator of progress back to health.

There are other indicators too. Yesterday, my youngest son and I went next door to take our neighbours' greyhound for a walk around the block (they were away for the day). The animal is a magnificent specimen of a greyhound, white body, lean, muscular, gentle, and yet made to run. It's always fun to see her bounding down the sidewalk, knowing full well that if we released her to run that she would fly like the wind.

Being able to walk the dog is an indication that my stamina is returning. Being able to work on both days of the weekend is another indication. Reading both business and personal books over the weekend is another indication.

But there are flashbacks to tougher days. Yesterday I went in for an unusual Saturday office opening for an allergist. I still have some skin rash from the antibiotics I stopped taking 16 days ago. As I walk, the neuropathy in the feet is evident with every step I take, the bottoms of my feet feeling like they were sponges. And then, of course, there is the omnipresent possiblity of diarrhea. Last night, for example, I made at least 15 trips to the bathrooms of our house, progressively becoming sorer and weaker with each trip.

Still, I am reducing medication, trying to gradually eliminate the pill-popping that has been par for the course during my illness. This, too, is an indicator of progress.

I have relaxed some this weekend too, and will do some more today. My preference for relaxing is watching episodes from the first season of Lost. The flashbacks used so frequently as a device for that series are something entirely different from the symptom flashbacks I continue to experience daily.

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