But the cardiac care specialist who coordinated my last stay in hospital had me discharged on Friday, May 5th. Since then, I have been engaged in the very important and physically and emotionally draining business of healing.
This time, I have home care nurses visiting me regularly and monitoring my vitals. They have also been involved in educating me about intermittent cathaterization. Although it is definitely an unpleasant experience to self-catheterize, it means I can be at home with my family, eating home-cooked food, listening to music and watching NBA playoff action, and discovering patterns of pain management more readily than would be the case in a hospital room.
Given all the complications I have experienced, I have wondered whether this blog may unnecessarily frighten others about to embark on a similar treatment protocol. But this is reality, for me at least, and I do believe it is better to be informed of all possibilities than to encounter some situations for which you are totally unprepared.
My job, as the home care nurse explained so simply this morning, is to eat, rest, and allow the body to heal, something which, given the complications I've experienced, requires a lot of calories and a lot of time, a positive attitude, and a willingness to set aside expectations for the rate of recovery both I and others have had beforehand. Right now, I figure I'm about 3 weeks behind my preliminary expectations as I was released for the first time from hospital after surgery. Doing useful work for my employer will simply have to wait until I can do useful work for myself first, things like walking, going to the washroom, showering, sitting down for more than 1 minute, and being awake for over an hour at a time.
It's a beautiful Sunday here in Kitchener, Ontario. I can enjoy the view through the patio doors and watch my family outside doing things which seem like remote possibilities for me right now - pulling dandelions, mowing the lawn, and trimming the weeds from the patio. Unfortunately, writing this blog entry is the most ambitious task I can consider.
I will recover and I will regain optimism slowly.