Obviously, thinking isn't my strength this week. Or writing. Or staying awake. Or being pain-free.
Thursday, just as the fatigue seemed to dissipate slightly, there was yet another side effect - an incredibly painful aching in the nether regions. In fact, last night was about the worst I can recall since 2006 when I was convinced I had a bowel obstruction during my radiation treatment. Extra strength Tylenol didn't even touch this pain.
Today was only slightly better, until I got a prescription for oxycodone, a narcotic I had refused to continue taking while recovering in hospital in September from the laparotomy. At the time, as soon as I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I had the most bizarre and disturbing nightmares. I recall thinking that the medicine was worse than the cure.
This time was different, though. The pain was far worse so I was strongly motivated. As well, I had no intention to go asleep right away. Now, finally, I'm feeling reasonably human again.
Still, the Community Care Access Centre has decided to have a special pain and symptom management team involved with my home care. This is probably a good thing given the complexity of my past treatment and the drugs that are part of my chemotherapy protocol.
I'm hoping to start reading and reflecting again soon, maybe writing something in my blog entries about more than a simple reciting of pain, fatigue, and medication. But this too is part of the journey...