Friday, December 15, 2006

An Unwanted Journey: Day 0387 - Bit of a scare

Wednesday evening I received a call from my medical oncologist wondering if I had any swelling in my left arm. Evidently, the CT scan indicated that there might be a blood clot in my arm. So started a conversation that left me wondering just what kind of condition I was really in after all.

The oncologist then went on to say that the radiologist's report indicated that there was strand-like tissue in the rectum that was possibly indicative of a recurrence of cancer. I mentioned that I had already been through a surveillance colonoscopy and a biopsy, the results of which were negative. He was unaware of those results, but decided that we needed to do an MRI anyway. A few moments later he called back again to ask qualifying questions about the MRI which might make the procedure dangerous, such as a metal sliver in the eye.

I guess I don't need to explain how a call like that in the evening from a medical oncologist can really spoil one's day. He has never called me at home like this before so I assumed there was something in the CT scan that had concerned him enough to prompt the call.

I really do appreciate how my medical team has been so thorough in testing my condition during this past year. But recently, the roller-coaster-like series of tests, results, concerns, and good news has left me wondering whether I should be extremely pleased or worried. Then, when you add on the continuing problems I experience in the evenings with bowel discomfort and fatigue, a bit of a scare seems like an understatement.

Recovery really is just another stage in this unwanted journey. Too much uncertainty.

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