Thursday, February 02, 2006

An Unwanted Journey: Day 0070 - My Heinous Anus

Yesterday, I attended two education sessions at the Grand River Regional Cancer Centre. One had to do with nutrition and cancer treatment, the other with practical and emotional means to cope with cancer. Both were introductory, but useful. One thing we mentioned in the second session was laughter. I told the facilitator that I had discovered that Waterloo, Ontario is home to a licensed Laughter Yoga club. The club meets every second Wednesday evening for about 1 ½ hours for no other reason than to laugh. I plan on attending one of those sessions next week.

Then I discovered that the GRRCC is itself holding an “education” session next week on using laughter in the fight against cancer. Should be a fun week!

My brother-in-law sent me a humorous email about colonoscopies that help to lighten the load on a day when sitting down is one of the most uncomfortable things I do:

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during this exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!”
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all....

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there!"

I know it’s bad luck to end on 13…BUTT…

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