Monday, August 18, 2008

An Unwanted Journey: Day 0999 - Mixed Feelings

It was Thursday, November 24th, 2005 when the gastroenterologist informed me that I had a cancerous tumor in the sigmoid colon. If I count today, then that means that tomorrow will be the 1000th day since I received the diagnosis.

That's worth celebrating. I remember how I originally chose to have 4 digits in the daily was a decision to remain optimistic about my chances of surviving. So much has happened since then, but I'm still kicking. Definitely, 1000 days is a milestone.

The only reason why I have mixed feelings is because of the recent diagnosis of metastasis to the liver. It's almost like getting the original diagnosis. But this time, my reaction is less one of shock and more one of disappointment and frustration, disappointment because I really thought my last CT scan would be negative, and frustration because I have been doing everything I should be doing as far as medical follow-up is concerned.

One thousand days strikes me as another good interim goal. Without good surgical outcomes, that goal will be difficult to achieve. But with reasonable surgical results, and continuing aggressive chemotherapy, I think I have a good shot at another 1000 days...minimum.

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